Journal of Kerr Avon

I am fast coming to the conclusion that wealth is the only reality for this poor excuse of a species called humanity. Who cares if the decisions make sense or not. As long as it pads the pockets of those too rich to care about the rest of us.

To think that I, very briefly (extremely briefly), thought that they might for once be thinking about anything other than themselves. Isn't that what people do in tough economic times? Silly notions of pulling together for the greater good. I should have known it was too good to be true. A dream of fools who still believe that there are such things as honest people. Experience should have told me that it wasn't possible. If you don't take care of yourself, other people will use you to take care of themselves.

My greatest dream is to find a world with no people.

What started this cheerful train of thought?

Touch economic times require everyone to make sacrifices. So the edict went out. Wage cuts for everyone, from the highest executive to the lowest garbage eater, on a sliding scale, with the greatest percentage being deducted from highest wage earners.

Sounds equitable, if not much of a hardship for those who make 1.5 million a year. They might take one less vacation a year. But percentage-wise, we are all hit.

Unfortunately, I do not accept things at face value. I've been burned too many times. A little digging revealed that the percentage cuts don't touch the bonuses of the executives. Any guesses as to the amount of the bonuses? 10%? 20%? 30%? Try several thousand percent.

Inspiring, isn't it?

And one other little fact that they proudly announced in the first quarter results of this year, not only are they not losing money, they have made over one billion in profit, in the first quarter!

I am quickly coming to the conclusion that the only way for anything to work is to do it myself. Unfortunately, I may be the resident technical genius, but there is not enough of me to go around. I have to rely on other people.

( Case in point...Journal entries from the last few day missing days. )

There was a department party last night. Or as the chief idiot likes to call it, a major event. By which he means that he gets to get patted on the back for my work.

The chief idiot waved me over to his circle of fellow intellectually challenged managers, only to hand me his drink and ask for a refill. I don't believe, waiter, is part of my job description. My many talents do not include forced labour.

He never once introduced me to his fellow managers or the Federation lynch mob bigwigs that he was talking to. Of course, I have no right to know anything. In the Federation food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

It was such a thoroughly detestable enjoyable experience that the next time, I will come prepared with body armour. Wouldn't want to make it too easy for all the back-stabbers managers.

Next time they decide on the menu guest list, I will strongly recommend that my name not be included.

Note to self: Plan debilitating illness for the next scheduled department party.

The entire department was infected by the Useful Virus today. It appears that it rewrote all menu items, on all applications so that the only ones available were:

Read Manager's Mind...........CtRl+Alt+P
(Blank screen of death results after a banshee like scream.)

Adjust Manager's Attitude....Ctrl+I
(Instantly redirects to listing of appropriate penal colonies.)

Enhance Salary..................Ctrl+S
(Removes random amount of money from random idiot managers' accounts and deposits it...somewhere else.)

Of course, as I was unavailable, it took the entire day to remove the virus, during which very no useful work was done.

As for menu item #3, no one has been able to track down where the money was redirected to. It is unlikely that they will ever get it back.

Fortunately Unfortunately, I have an alibi was unable to render any assistance. I was still in the medical rehab centre for excessive back pain caused by idiot-manager-induced stress. Regrettable, but I am happy to report that I'm feeling much better now.

Congratulations Note to self: It's an outrage. I have no idea who would do such a thing. That is my official position.

First Rule of Idiotic Project Management: There's never enough time to do it right the first time but there's always enough time to go back and do it again.

If the fool of a manager had listened to me in the first place, he wouldn't be in the mess he is in now. I warned him at the beginning that crowding the same amount of work into half the time, with the same number of people would never work. People have to sleep. Eating is also helpful.

Now I have to bail him out. I do not see how a lack of planning on his part should constitute an emergency for me.

If you give me more than one task to do, don't tell me which is priority. I must have missed the requirement where psychic ability is needed for this job.

If you have special instructions for a project, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

I am not here to build the reputation of people who can't afford to think. Apparently thinking interferes with project deadlines.

Question to self: Why am I here?

Yes, I know that I'm the best there is in my field. And yes, I don't mind being given the most difficult problems to solve. It's a boost to my ego that I can handle things that no one else can.

But do run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke. That helps immensely.

Do you remember that I am the best in my field or are you suffering from short term memory loss? There are cures for that, it's called amputation.

Note to self: What would free me from having to work under such fools? Preferably something that won't result in my being sent to a penal colony.

I have always been of the opinion that managers are fools. It is comforting to know that I'm right. There is a particular brand of stupidity that seems to be required of those in authority.

Case in point: The moron who was assigned to oversee my division (over someone infinitely more qualified, I might add) is starting to make me feel that my only chance for career advancement is outside of 'official' channels.

Note to self: Begin exploring options for someone of my considerable intelligence and talents.